Love Has No Expiration Date

Love is such a beautiful thing. I just finished watching the most delightful movie on Netflix called “Queen Bees”, a sort of watered-down version of “Mean Girls” with older folks. This foursome rules the cafeteria in that senior living community and is known to the other residents as the “Queen B’s”. “I’ll let you guess what the ‘B’ stands for…” said one of the female residents to newcomer Helen Wilson.

The movie stars some of the most delightful actresses I grew up watching. But the most delightful part is that they are all older than me! What a treat! As I approach age 60, I long to see romance between people of my generation, but this seems to be getting harder and harder to see in Hollywood, which caters to a much younger crowd—such a shame. I don’t believe that competence (or charisma, for that matter) ever gets too old. These qualities are like fine wine. They get better with age. What is perhaps missing are filmmakers with that vision and sensibility.

Love is for everyone. I happen to believe that older people deserve it even more as a reward for a life that has dished out more than a few sorrows. Besides, you don’t stop loving or feeling like a whole woman just because you’ve reached a certain age. Some of us try, though, like the older generation of Haitian women like my mother, who believe that once you’ve reached a certain milestone, love and sex are things of the past. But, in my humble opinion, it is an unnatural state that can only lead to frustration and unfulfillment.

Amazing women like the classy Ellen Burstyn, the seductive Ann-Margret (still a bombshell, if you ask me!), the hilarious Jane Curtin, and the divine Loretta Devine graced this movie with their undeniable competence, with the addition of the kooky Christopher Lloyd and the great James Caan in his last comedic performance. Ellen Burstyn plays a widow, Helen Wilson, whose forgetfulness has caused a fire in the home she and her late husband had built over the last decades. At her daughter’s insistence, she now has to take up room at Pine Cove, a fictitious senior living community, while she waits for her house to be repaired. Making new friends while bonding over a game of Bridge, especially with the obnoxious Queen Bs, was surprising to her, but even more unexpected was finding love in this unlikely place, that temporary shelter where she never wanted to live. But you can’t outmaneuver Destiny. These lovely people made you believe in friendship and love again. At any age.

One of the things that touched me the most was the collection of pictures, as the credits rolled, of real-life senior couples who found love in their golden years and tied the knot. What a clever idea to celebrate mature love. These couples looked just as happy and excited as teenagers about what lies ahead. It doesn’t matter the number of years they have ahead of them. What mattered was that they had found love again when, perhaps, they no longer believed in it, and are now spending whatever years they have left with that someone who brings magic into their lives. What a beautiful way to walk that last mile. I had tears in my eyes.

I always get super excited when I see romantic comedies with legendary women like Diane Keaton, Jane Fonda, Candice Bergen, Mary Steenburgen, and Meryl Streep, and their leading men, Jack Nicholson, Alec Baldwin, Andy Garcia, Pierce Brosnan, Don Johnson, Michael Douglas, and Steve Martin. It is so wonderful to see the flirting, the uncertainty, the laughter, the passion, the awkwardness, the courage, the vulnerability, and the sheer awesomeness of these characters as they give in to love one more time.

That is the value I find in “Nonstop Oslo”. Vivienne and Logen are certainly not in their golden years but they are just a few years away. They are just as passionate about life and each other as their younger counterparts are. But at this age, love takes on a new meaning. It is born out of years of experience and finally knowing what is truly important in life. Good conversations, companionship, uncontrollable laughter, Pickleball, a shared joint once in a while (“It’s Complicated”), and yes, sex. It may no longer be that wild ride on a mechanical bull, but it is slow, languorous, and totally satisfying.

Speaking of which, the love scenes in “Nonstop Oslo” seem to be a hit among my readers, women and men alike. My friend Alina recently told me, “Oh, Nadine! I’m finally reading your book. I’m halfway through. These love scenes, though!”

“What about them?” I laughed.

“They’ve got me blushing!” she said. And she actually blushed.

What a thrill.

My dear friend Bill, who is in his 70s, said to me after reading my manuscript. “While reading these [sex] scenes, I had to keep reminding myself that you’re my friend!”

Another Canadian friend, Michel, once cornered me at the supermarket, and said, “Nadine, wow! These [sex] scenes are something else! How do you find the words?”

Mind you, they are not ‘dirty’ scenes. They are just intense. Because the love is intense. They are beautiful. Because the love between Vivienne and Logen is beautiful.

To conclude, kudos to the producers of the “The Bachelor” franchise for that wildly successful first season of “The Golden Bachelor” with Gerry Turner and Theresa Nist, and the host of beautiful, vibrant, and downright outrageously funny women on that show. I was particularly impressed with the sexy photo shoot that Theresa had reserved for the ladies during her bachelorette party. Never have these women looked so alluring and beautiful. True foxes (you hear me, Susan Noles!). Even the shiest of them, sweet Ellen Goltzer.

The heartbreaks on that show were very real but the hope the experience provided to these women is also real. “This experience has shown me that you’re never too old to find love”, “I never thought I could feel this way again”, and “Because of this [experience], I am now ready to find my own Gerry,” were some of the beautiful and endearing testimonials from these outstanding women.

Love transcends age. It is the one true gift bestowed upon us by our Creator. It is ours to claim. At any age.

The truth of the matter is that to find love, all you need is an open heart and a willingness to have faith again. Heartbreak and tremendous joy are just part of the game of love. At any age.